I have received several emails recently from guys that say they are having trouble connecting with women emotionally.

If you have problems connecting with women, more than likely you have problems connecting with anyone in general on an emotional level; just like anything we really need to look at the source of the problem to find the solution which in this case has nothing to do with women. It has everything to do with you; your current lifestyle and how you are dealing with your own emotions.

It’s impossible to connect with a woman emotionally if you are in your head thinking all the time which is directly related to not living your life to the fullest and having way to much spare time on your hands which keeps you in your head when you should be going out and just having a great time, enjoying your life.

Stop trying to analyze everything, get rid of the feeling that you need to dissect, tear apart and figure out all the details on how to… By doing this you are only working against what you truly desire. Keep it simple; remember this is not rocket science, you are a man and do have the natural ability to connect with women built in you.

Being able to connect with women emotionally is only one piece of the puzzle and will come naturally once you begin to change your entire lifestyle. Begin by focusing on yourself and work on getting your own life in-order before trying to figure out women or you never will.

Here are just a few extremely important questions you need to ask yourself; really think about these as you read through them and answer them honestly, if you don’t you are only hurting yourself.

Do I love my life?
Do I love myself?
Am I confident?
Do I have goals and aspirations?
Do I have a great time when I go out?
Do I have friends that I can be myself around?
Am I true to myself and to others?
Am I comfortable with myself?
Am I comfortable being totally random and spontaneous?
Am I comfortable in uncomfortable situations?
Do I live my life to the fullest?
Am I comfortable with my own sexuality?
Am I a man that knows exactly what I want and am willing to do what ever it takes to get it?
Do I have what it takes to please a woman?
Am I a leader?
Do I respect myself?
Do others respect me?

If you answered “NO” to any of these questions then I recommend that you forget about trying to “Connect with women emotionally” and spend some time working on answering “yes” to these. If you said “yes” to all of these than you do not have a problem connecting with women. If you said “YES” to a few of them than you need to work on the others that you said “NO” to.

Understand that there are certain characteristics which every ladies man out there poses which makes them extremely attractive to women, you must also understand what women really want; women love a guy who loves his life, women love a guy that loves himself unconditionally, women love a guy that is confident, women love a guy that has goals and aspirations, women love a guy that knows how to have fun when he goes out, women love a guy that can be himself around his friends, women love a guy that is comfortable with himself, women love a guy that is totally random and spontaneous, a guy that is comfortable in most all situations, a guy that lives life to the fullest, a guy that is extremely comfortable with his sexuality. The list goes on but you get my point, start working on building your new lifestyle.

There is no tactic or trick to learn how to connect with women, it is simply you living your life in a certain way. Learning how to be quiet, listen, express a genuine interest in really getting to know someone with “NO” outcome in mind, how to be present and actually enjoy the moment and having a good time no matter what you are doing. Begin by learning how to be comfortable connecting and opening up to people in general before you try it with women that you are attracted to. Don’t get ahead of yourself, start with the basics and get your life in order before you try to bring someone else into it.

Eyes speak a thousand words and if you do not have the qualities of a sexually desirable man and live the lifestyle than women will be able to tell without you saying a word which will prevent you from ever connecting with her. This is not something you can fake.

Bring out her sexual desires when you first meet her.

There are different questions that you can ask a girl if you really want to get to know her once you know that the attraction is there. Being extremely honest and open with your own sexuality will open up her deepest darkest sexual desires. I am not into lines, routines or even what to say to a girl because once you develop the correct mindset you will naturally develop this and it just flows but I feel this is an important topic so I am going to share it with you.

Typically when a guy begins talking to a girl he just met he tends to fall into the classification of ‘relationship talk’ based on old beliefs on how to talk to women and to be completely honest this scares the s**t out of women and typically kills any possibility of you being with her even if the attraction is there. Do not feel that you need to kiss a woman’s a** for her to like you, she will like you more if you are real and do not hold back. Yes; you do want to be respectful but you do not want to be a p**sy neither and never be afraid to speak your mind.

Here are a couple tips once the attraction is there, if you want to ask a girl a question, don’t ask her in the way a butler at the Ritz Carlton would ask you if you needed a hand with your luggage. You are not catering to her, she is not better than you know matter how hot she is. Treat her as an equal and do not kiss her A**.

A great way to ask a question is with a statement then pause and let her answer.
Example… Silver or Gold?

When I meet a girl; I want to get to know what type of person she is as quickly as possible. This tells me whether or not anything could come out of it, honestly I meet so many women that seem great in the beginning but after asking them some simple questions I find out she is not a girl that I even want to associate myself with; so I am always asking questions. I base my questions on what I am looking for and do not censor anything, everything I ask just flows because I am truly in the moment and I am genuinely interested in getting to know certain things.

I met this girl online a couple weeks ago, the attraction was defiantly there. We talked back and forth a couple times on IM. She asked me for my number and she text me that night, as soon as she text me I began asking her questions right away. Below are some of the questions that I asked her. As you go through the list, think about what you would like to ask a girl based on what you want. I do not recommend that you ask these same questions so create your own. These questions were done via text.

Silver or gold?
The norm or totally random?
Lover or Player?
Passion or rough? Or both?
Outspoken or reserved?
Top or bottom?
Hard or soft?
Hairy or smooth?
Sports or hiking?
First day or third day?
Do you believe in love at first site?
Stay in an unhappy relationship and cheat or just get out?
Two women one guy? Two guys one woman?
Multiple relationships?
Enjoy giving or taking?
Enjoy pleasing or pleasing yourself?
Your deepest fantasy?
Personality or money?
Cocaine or weed?
Beer or Liquor?
Living in the moment or thinking about what’s next?

Create your own questions, I do not ask the same questions with every girl I have attraction with, every situation is different. You do not want to memorize these as it needs to flow naturally. Once you develop the correct mindset this will become more natural for you and you will feel extremely comfortable talking about random things like these. The key to asking questions is to find out what type of girl she is. Check out my MM program to get started with developing the correct mindset.

Check it out here- http://coryskyy.net/products

You need to understand how powerful these questions are. Not only does it tell you a ton about a girl but it also separates you from every other guy. It shows her that you are actually interested in getting to know her for her not her physical body. It shows her that you are 100% comfortable with yourself and being real, it shows her that you are confident and are not afraid to speak your mind.
This will actually bring out her deepest darkest sexual desires that all women have because she is not use to someone being so straight forward with her and many of the questions are sexual.

Great question this week from Tim in Dallas:

Question: “Cory, what stories should I tell a woman when I’m talking to her?”

Answer: You should never feel like you need to come up with stories to impress her, Stop talking so much, let her do most of the talking and listen to her. When you do tell a story about something make sure it is real, don’t try and create a make believe story, she will know you made it up and that you are not being real with her and you will loose her!

There is some sort of crazy rule out there that the guy needs to be doing most of the talking.

As a true natural, I can tell you that this is the biggest load of bullshit. No natural talks more than the woman. You are the man so let her qualify herself to you.

This is what women want.

The truth is that women love to talk. Naturals are good listeners. We encourage her to talk and then tease her in a sexually flirtatious way. Trust me, there are women I’ve taken home who I said maybe five sentences to – they did all the talking.

But there’s a right way to do this and a wrong way. I had a student who was very good at listening to women talk, but he didn’t know how to respond to what she was saying in a playful and sexual way. What happened was he usually ended up becoming her “free therapist”.

Women KNOW I’m not the guy who’s going to be their free therapist. Women know the second I walk in any room that I can rock their bed off its hinges. This is the energy I project, it is so powerful and is so obvious that women will look me in the eyes and say “Your trouble” with out me even saying a word.

When I’m having a conversation with a girl and she’s talking, I’m doing three very sexual things:

I’m maintaining a powerful eye contact with her that makes everyone else in the room disappear, for myself and for her. One of the best ways to escalate sexually is through your eyes.

I’m listing to her and responding to her with a playfully sexual conversation style, and I always maintain the “I don’t give a shit attitude” Yea she is cute but I really don’t care about the outcome.

I’m leading the interaction. She senses that I’m leading and gets more turned on the more I do it.

I’m not asking for a “female opinion”. I’m not “negging” her or thinking about what I have to say next. (I don’t care) Either the attraction is there or its not, (you will be able to feel it) I am not going to waist my time with some girl when the conversation seems like work, talking to women should be fun and should flow easily. Most of all I am not qualifying myself to her.

I’m just responding to her as a powerful, sexual man who is “in the moment” with her.

That’s it! It really is that simple.

The hard part is getting to the point where this interaction is simple. The hard part is building your self-image to the level where you fucking KNOW that you are the sexiest man anywhere you go and that women want to fuck you everywhere you go.

See, I already have this belief. I know I can have what I want because of my mindset.

Install a magnetic mindset and conversations like these will become easy for you. You won’t worry about what to say because you’ll communicate everything she needs to know through your eyes, your body language, and your reactions to what she’s saying.

Bob in L.A. asks: “Cory, I heard you don’t believe in wingmen. Can you tell me why?”

Look, guys, once and for all, get all that “Community” language out of your head.

There is no such thing as a “wingman”! (Unless you fly military jets. Period.)

You are your own man. You don’t need anybody else to make you good with women. It all comes from you.

That’s what makes what I teach so different from all the other so-called “pickup gurus” out there—I am confident enough to know that I can go out wherever I want, when I want to pick up women; and know that I can have whatever girl that I want.

When you are THE Man and you know it, women sense it and are drawn to you. Whoever you’re with—wingmen or not—become invisible. That’s right. They just disappear.

Why?

Because the attraction between you and the girl is so powerful.

I can be out with guys who are clueless about women. They act all weird and gawky, but it doesn’t matter. Women can see that I’m unlike them by the way I carry myself and by the way I project my sexual energy.

Likewise, I can be out with guys who are great with women. It still doesn’t matter. What I do has nothing to do with what any other guy is doing. It’s just me and her.

So, please, stop all this “wingman” talk. Your goal should be able to be good with women no matter who you’re with—even alone.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s great to have friends. It’s great to go out with friends. But stop looking at friends as “wings” and stop looking at going out as a “mission” to pick up women. Lighten up and have some fun! Women love guys that know how to have a good time on their own.

And please guys, stop it with all the other silly language that the “Community” has invented. I don’t allow any of that talk in my boot camps or on my forum. Women are never “targets”… ever!

Women are people and must be treated with utmost respect. You are not respecting women when you refer to them as “targets”.

I love women. I love bringing pleasure and happiness to women’s lives. By teaching you how to give women what they truly want from a powerful and sexual man—all the while respecting them as the beautiful and intelligent humans that they are—I’m creating more joy in the lives of both men and women.

And there is no joy in being referred to as a “target”, a “set”, a “day2”, or a boatload of other demeaning terms.

Always remember… I’m real.

I promise to teach you how naturals fill their lives with the most stunning and smart women on the planet. Without lying. Without manipulation. Without tricks.

Think about it. We’re humans. We all want to get together. Humans have been getting together for thousands of years. The way I attract women is the natural way—the way real men have been doing it since the dawn of time. With confidence. With positive sexual energy. With a strong sense of self-worth.

Something I hear all the time:

“Cory, all the other pickup gurus force their students to approach every woman they see. Why don’t you do this?”

The short answer: It’s creepy, and it’s easier to do the prep work and have women come to you.

It really is. I’ve watched guys who have been through other boot camps go up and approach almost every single woman in a bar.

What have they just done? They just sent an alarm out to everyone in that bar that they are a creepy m.f. They obviously have no sense of connection, quality, or awareness. If you just go randomly talking to everybody, you come across as needy and it sends out a bad vibe to every woman in that place.

I am not saying that you can’t be social; all I am saying is that if your intention is to go out to a bar just to talk to women then you will come across creepy. I have seen it way too many times.

Stop it now.

Here’s what I do when I walk into a bar:

I enter with power and presence… with a belief that “I’m the prize”. This is projected to the entire room through my body language, my posture, and my eyes as soon as I walk in. I check everybody out. I gaze the entire room. I make eye contact with pretty much everyone in the place. I find the “sweet spot” which is the place where I can stand and gaze at the largest part of the room. I order a drink. I chill. I talk to whoever’s around me where I’m standing and continue to gaze around the room even when I am talking.

Many guys go out and start a conversation with someone (which is fine) but they tend to give 100% attention to that person/conversation and get consumed in it. All this does is kills your chances of actually meeting anyone else. There could be a girl checking you out across the bar and you wouldn’t even know it.

You always want to be aware of your surroundings at all times. Pick your head up and look around. If you are holding yourself well and are confident, women will check you out everywhere you go. There are thousands of women that want you right now but you need to do the right things to put your self out there so they can actually come to you.

I always check the vibe in the room. This is “awareness”. It’s like a commando sneaking into a highly-guarded facility. He doesn’t just go in guns blazing. He waits, watches, and picks up on everything going on before he goes in.

That’s the way to do it.

I always check things out before going in; if I do see a girl I think is cute I want to find out who she is with first. Is she with her boyfriend? Husband? Is it a girls’ night out? You want to find out what you are you walking into.

Too many guys believe that if they’re not running around talking to everybody, women will think they’re a quiet loser. This is b.s. By not running around, you’re letting them know that you have no agenda. You’re just chillin’; you’re confident and comfortable with yourself. You’re having a good time with the people immediately around you, and you don’t give a s**t about what anyone thinks.

Once you master the way to project this vibe to a room, women come out of the woodwork and start to make eye contact with you and will actually come to you.

But it’s an art—and you have to do it right.

Most guys don’t know how to do this and it is not something that can be taught in words. It is just like anything else—hands-on experience is the best training you can have. That’s why I recommend attending any of my boot camps. We cover all this and go through many different exercises that prepare you to go out into the real world and apply it. This is why they keep selling out. Nobody else teaches this stuff. Nobody.

Awareness, presence, and body language are the most overlooked aspects of meeting and dating attractive women.

You can have beautiful women in your life—as many beautiful women as you want—if you’re willing to accept change.

A common theme with many guys I work with is resistance to change. All of us were brought up with a certain set of beliefs about life and the world—some good, some bad, but all affected how we perceive ourselves. Some of these beliefs came from our childhood religion, our parents, or society’s values in general. These beliefs colored our existence and the life decisions that we made from childhood through early adulthood.

The guys who are most successful with women—like me—never let any of these beliefs affect us. We never bought into the B.S. We never followed the crowd. We never did what we were told to do.

The guys that fell in lock step with the crowd (which is the vast majority) allowed these beliefs—beliefs that came not from within their true selves—to be carved into stone. They fomented, crystallized, and in many cases hardened into a brick wall in guys belief systems.

When a guy comes to me and says, “Cory, I want to be great with women”, I start by asking lots of questions and digging deep into his life experiences. When I do so, he and I are both often amazed at how much opportunity has been right in front of him, but the brick wall in his head is so thick that we need to do a lot of work together to knock it down and replace it with new beliefs that create new possibilities.

The problem is that most guys do not want to let go of the comfortable blanket of coziness in which they have wrapped themselves up their entire lives. It’s much easier to hide inside the box you’ve built, wrapped up in your blanket, safe from the responsibilities of success.

With success in anything comes an escape from the person you used to be. It can be a difficult and staggering task to say goodbye to that old self in whose blanket you have been kept so warm.

When I show guys a reality that they couldn’t possibly imagine before, such as hanging around with beautiful women twenty years younger than themselves, dating multiple women at once, or enjoying relationships supermodels, guys often shut down because they fear letting go of their old self.

The center of this old self is a belief system that says that none of this is possible. But when you condition yourself to accept that not only is it possible, but it’s just another Friday night, your reality is literally rocked to the core.

This is why it’s so important to be open to and accepting of change. Be willing to take chances. We’ve all heard the term “No risk, no reward”, and I’m here to tell you that’s how to live a full life with an abundance of beautiful women.

You must take risks. Risks are a critical part of every successful guy’s life. Every guy who has ever been great at anything has had the courage to step out of his comfort zone and take chances. The guys who don’t take chances will literally watch their lives pass by right in front of their eyes. They will grow old and wonder how it happened while they sit on their rickety porch with a beer, chanting society’s mantra of “I wish I had…”

Don’t be an I wish I had. Be an I’m glad I did. With no regrets.

Accept change. Love change. Relish change. Let go of your old self. Enjoy your time here on earth. We only get one chance at this thing called life. Let’s live it to the fullest.

The decision is yours. It’s up to you.