Great question this week from Tim in Dallas:

Question: “Cory, what stories should I tell a woman when I’m talking to her?”

Answer: You should never feel like you need to come up with stories to impress her, Stop talking so much, let her do most of the talking and listen to her. When you do tell a story about something make sure it is real, don’t try and create a make believe story, she will know you made it up and that you are not being real with her and you will loose her!

There is some sort of crazy rule out there that the guy needs to be doing most of the talking.

As a true natural, I can tell you that this is the biggest load of bullshit. No natural talks more than the woman. You are the man so let her qualify herself to you.

This is what women want.

The truth is that women love to talk. Naturals are good listeners. We encourage her to talk and then tease her in a sexually flirtatious way. Trust me, there are women I’ve taken home who I said maybe five sentences to – they did all the talking.

But there’s a right way to do this and a wrong way. I had a student who was very good at listening to women talk, but he didn’t know how to respond to what she was saying in a playful and sexual way. What happened was he usually ended up becoming her “free therapist”.

Women KNOW I’m not the guy who’s going to be their free therapist. Women know the second I walk in any room that I can rock their bed off its hinges. This is the energy I project, it is so powerful and is so obvious that women will look me in the eyes and say “Your trouble” with out me even saying a word.

When I’m having a conversation with a girl and she’s talking, I’m doing three very sexual things:

I’m maintaining a powerful eye contact with her that makes everyone else in the room disappear, for myself and for her. One of the best ways to escalate sexually is through your eyes.

I’m listing to her and responding to her with a playfully sexual conversation style, and I always maintain the “I don’t give a shit attitude” Yea she is cute but I really don’t care about the outcome.

I’m leading the interaction. She senses that I’m leading and gets more turned on the more I do it.

I’m not asking for a “female opinion”. I’m not “negging” her or thinking about what I have to say next. (I don’t care) Either the attraction is there or its not, (you will be able to feel it) I am not going to waist my time with some girl when the conversation seems like work, talking to women should be fun and should flow easily. Most of all I am not qualifying myself to her.

I’m just responding to her as a powerful, sexual man who is “in the moment” with her.

That’s it! It really is that simple.

The hard part is getting to the point where this interaction is simple. The hard part is building your self-image to the level where you fucking KNOW that you are the sexiest man anywhere you go and that women want to fuck you everywhere you go.

See, I already have this belief. I know I can have what I want because of my mindset.

Install a magnetic mindset and conversations like these will become easy for you. You won’t worry about what to say because you’ll communicate everything she needs to know through your eyes, your body language, and your reactions to what she’s saying.

I’ve had so many questions lately that I figured I’d just dive right into the mailbag this week to answer some of them:

Question: “Cory, what do you and other naturals think about when you see a woman you’re attracted to?”

Answer: I don’t think of anything. I’m truly “in the moment”. I just look into her eyes and say, “Yeah… could be fun”. She receives the message every time.

When I do this, there are NO negative thoughts going through my head. I am not thinking about the outcome at all. I’m just playing and having fun. Just like a kid.

I’m not needy about it. I’m not desperate about having her. I’m not unhappy about whether I am with her or not. I’m not addicted to her or the situation. I can walk away at any time. I’m not going to live or die if I talk to her. I am just in a playful state of mind.

This is the best state you can be in. Its playfulness and non-threatening vibe attracts women.

Question: “Cory, how do I tell a woman I’m different from all the other slimy losers out there?”

Answer: Don’t tell her. Show her!

The catch to this is that you must believe that you are different. You must know deep in your soul that you are THE MAN. There can be no question.

A lot of guys go out and try to pretend to be THE MAN, but it’s obvious that they’re pretending. Women can smell a fake a mile away. It has to be real. You need to believe it deep down in your gut.

When you do, you’ll never need to tell a woman you’re different. She’ll just know. When you believe it, she’ll believe it.

The tough part about believing in yourself is that it doesn’t come so easily if you’ve struggled with self-confidence your entire life. In that case, you’ve got to accept the fact that it may take some time for you to instill a strong belief in yourself. It rarely happens overnight.

Remember the movie Field of Dreams… “If you build it, they will come.” That same ideology applies to women. To get the women you want in your life, change it to “If you build THE MAN within yourself, women will come.”

But you can’t fake it. It’s got to be real. Give yourself the time to build it.

I’ve noticed something about a lot of instructors who teach guys questionable methods to meet and date women.

They teach control.

What do I mean by that? They want guys to believe that the way to make things happen with a woman is to control every situation.

For example, many instructors teach guys how to get a girl’s phone number, commonly known as a “#-close”… and they teach guys to get it as fast as possible.

That’s B.S. thinking.

Because at the end of the day, the sexually desirable guy that just lets things happen may get less numbers but ends up with four times as many women… and the connection that he has with these women is extremely hot.

In fact, I teach guys not to get numbers, but rather to build such a sexually charged connection during the interaction that she can’t help but give you her number without your even asking for it. This is the real way.

This goes against “community” thinking because there is a misguided belief that getting a number is the same as generating a sexually charged connection.

The “community” also teaches that women do not call guys. But I know for a fact that if you present yourself as a sexually desirable guy who has a magnetic mindset, you can give your number to a woman. Women do call and text guys day and night. This is commonplace for my students.

Another example is talking too much. It is “community” dogma to control the conversation with a girl by talking endlessly, whether you use rehearsed routines or not.

Again, B.S. thinking.

Ultimately, a woman wants to qualify herself to a man. She does not want a man qualifying himself to her, which is what most guys do when they talk too much.

Women love talking about themselves. Why should we take that away from them? Shut up and listen. Some of the hottest interactions I’ve had with women have been hour-long conversations with me saying only five words. It’s an easy way to build sexual chemistry.

Guys want a clear A-B-C roadmap for success with women, but I’m going to be in your face with this… it doesn’t work like that. There is no formula for interacting or communicating with women. Women are emotional beings. I don’t care how smart we think we are. For us to think we can speak rationally or logically to an emotional being is pure ignorance on our part.

But A-B-C thinking is what’s making the bankrolls of many pickup companies fat—attempting to teach guys that you can control each and every situation with either the right line or the perfect routine.

The reality is, we don’t have absolute control of anything. The way to make things happen is to let things happen.

Let it happen!

When guys ask me about being great with women, the first question I always ask is: “What do you want?”

Many tell me they want one girlfriend only because they just can’t create the picture of themselves dating three women at the same time. It’s so far out of their reality.

But the truth is that the possibilities are endless. You can have what you want, but in order to get it you have to be open to it. You have to believe that it’s possible… and that it’s possible for you.

Want to date three to four women without lying nor using manipulation? It’s done all the time by guys who live that reality. Yes, you can be upfront and honest to all of them. Yes, many will walk away. Yes, many will be okay with it.

It’s also okay to date just one girl if that’s what you really want. If your friends are always going on about their conquests and pressure you to get “laid” more often, then tell them to get lost. Be who you are.

The only danger that I see often with this situation is that the guy gets too attached. It’s human nature for a guy to want to be around this beautiful girl at all times and know what she’s doing every minute of every day.

When this happens, the guy usually begins to display insecurities and a possessiveness that kill the relationship. The girl leaves him and he’s left scratching his head, all lonely and hurt wondering what he did wrong.

I recommend to guys that in the beginning, you date two to three girls. Yes, maybe you like one girl more than the other two. But since you have the other two, you’re not going to get obsessed with one.

When you start to think “I wonder what she’s doing”, your ship begins to sink. This is the first sign of neediness growing in your mind. This is the point where you begin to self-sabotage yourself in the relationship.

More than anything, a woman wants a man with a life—a guy who isn’t going to smother her. That’s why most women out there really are open to your dating other women (at least in the beginning until her emotions get the better of her). They’ll never admit it, but women find a man who has other women in his life attractive.

It means he has a life and that he’s a challenge for her to win over. Which is why it’s best to be a “ladies’ man” even if you just want one girlfriend. At least until she’s proven herself to you for a very long time. (And I’m talking years here. Months don’t cut it.)

Being a “ladies’ man” is nothing but having choice in your life. You don’t have to be a “player”. A player lies and manipulates whereas a ladies’ man is honest and direct. A player says, “You’re the only girl in my life” but a ladies’ man says, “I’m not ready to settle down and I’m seeing a couple of girls”.

Believe it or not, when you say this it makes women want you even more. Be honest to yourself and be honest to the women in your life. Even if it’s bold or comes across as rude or arrogant, don’t shy away from it.

And please… don’t make the mistake of locking yourself into a relationship too soon. On the other hand, don’t be a player. Find a balance between the two. Be honest with yourself and others. Follow these simple steps and women will automatically gravitate into your life.

I’m going to talk a little about my teaching method this week. If you frequent my forum or have purchased Magnetic Mindset, you know that I have several different ways to apply affirmations into your life—ways that I’ve developed over a period of years. (There are other techniques I teach as well, but affirmations are a universally accessible way to get started.)

During the process of acquiring a “magnetic mindset”, many of my students experience a subconscious block that prevents them from being consistent with affirmations. They start applying them and begin to notice subtle changes in the way they behave and the reactions they get from other people. Some of these changes are so far outside of their realities that it blows their minds.

This is scary for some guys. It opens them up to a new world they never thought possible—a new world that is ripe with possibilities that they had never even considered before. A new world that shatters what they’ve always believed.

So they stop.

But, I urge you to never stop your affirmations. Affirmations are your lifeline. They are your oxygen supply. If you stop doing them, then you cut off your own air.

You can’t stop.

Earlier this summer, I personally experimented with stopping. At first, I noticed no difference. But after about three weeks, I began to have negative thoughts that caused me to make a few mistakes… mistakes I wouldn’t have normally made.

We are all the same. Even with all my amazing success with women, in other areas of my life I still have a lot of old negative programming hidden in the back of my brain. We all do.

If we stop our affirmations, we begin to drift backward to bad beliefs that date all the way back to our early childhoods. It’s like the helmsman of a ship who abandons the wheel, hoping that the ship will automatically drift into port.

But we all know what will happen. The winds and currents will drive that ship in random directions. And yet that’s precisely what we allow to happen if we stop applying affirmations.

All your old thoughts and beliefs are deeply embedded in your subconscious mind. By applying affirmations consistently, you slowly change those old limiting beliefs and take control of the direction of your life. Affirmations keep you on course.

See, what I teach guys is a radical way to “detox” yourself from your past. I show you how to build up such a strong defense so that no amount of negativity from others affects you at all.

That’s the power of affirmations (as well as other teaching methods I use) to completely turn your life around… and why you should never stop applying them.

I know a lot of this sounds New-Age-y, hocus pocus, or just plain fruity.

But it works. Results don’t lie.

I’m not a scientist. I don’t pretend to be one. I haven’t done ten years’ worth of research in libraries to uncover the mechanisms behind this.

All I know is that it works.

It works for me. It works for my students. And that’s all I care about. Using these methods, I have now personally changed the lives of guys all over the world. As I often say, I didn’t think I could get this across to guys when I first started.

But now, I know from experience that the guys who are willing to take a chance… to suspend disbelief and do what I tell them to do… have infused their lives with changes they never thought possible.

Your subconscious mind is a powerful mechanism… if you use it properly. It will either make you or break you.

The best way I’ve found to communicate with this deep part of yourself is to do affirmations every day for an hour. Yes, an hour! It’s a very small amount of time when you realize the results you’re going to get.

Set aside a time in your day to apply affirmations the way I teach them. I don’t care how busy you are. This is too important. It is the lifeline that fuels everything else you do.

If you do them every day, you’re one step closer to having the life you want.

In my 3-CD program Magnetic Mindset, I provide you with affirmations that are designed to kick-start a belief system that attracts women subconsciously—by changing the very fabric of who you are on the inside. This program is the perfect introduction to my unique teaching methods.

On the last day of the Bad Boy With A Heart Boot camp here in Sarasota, Florida, I took my students out to The Tiki Bar for lunch.

We all sat at the bar. I placed myself at the end. I do this on purpose. I always sit in the best place… the place that actually separates me from everyone else. So, if a girl walks by, I have the opportunity to hit eye contact with her… which opens up the possibility to actually get to know her.

About 10 minutes after we sat down, a group of 3 girls and 2 guys walked up to the other end of where the students were sitting at the bar. One of the girls was super cute.

My student sitting on the end started going against everything we were talking about all weekend. He fell into his old way of thinking (what the “community” taught him) and started throwing openers and banter lines out to the girl standing next to him.

I was watching him totally mess up this interaction the entire time… shaking my head. The girl he was talking to was shaking her head as well.

Meantime, I was hitting eye contact with the super cute girl that was behind them. After her group ordered their drinks, they walked to a table and sat down. Super cute girl conveniently placed herself where she could see me so we could continue to hit eye contact. Her companions sat in spots where I could not see them from my seat.

I continued to hit eye contact with super cute girl. A few minutes went by. Then, one of the guys in the group came up to me and told me that his sister was talking about me and wanted to meet me. (The power of the eyes at work!)

I talked to him for a few minutes… just chillin’ like I always do… no jumping up and getting all excited (which most guys would do). I just acted like I didn’t care to really meet her.

While we chatted, my coaches took the students back to the seminar room. I stayed behind.

Once they were gone, the brother called his sister over and everyone else came up to the bar. I walked over and started talking to super cute girl… with whom I had been consistently hitting eye contact while talking to the guy.

It was so simple. I said, “So you wanted to meet me, huh?” as I looked into her eyes… not thinking about anything else.

Instant connection.

Then, one of the other girls asked me if I knew that guy that was at the other end of the bar. I said “Yeah, he is a friend of mine. Why?”

They all laughed. She started talking about the pickup lines he was using on her. She went on to tell me what he said but honestly I don’t remember what it was.

She said, “Wow! Now, I’ve heard them all!”

I laughed along with them. Then, the girl I was talking to asked me to go with them to hang out at some party. Obviously, I couldn’t because I had to get back to the boot camp.

So, I told her I had to get going. She offered me her number. I said, “Here, I will write mine down. Give me a call if you would like to hang out some time.”

The point is that while everyone is sitting and eating like they normally do, I am picking up women… like I normally do.

There were no stupid pickup lines. There was no approach anxiety. (Heck, there wasn’t even an approach!) There was no frustration or negative thoughts going through my head. It was just purely natural… the way I always meet women.

You can pick up women like this all the time. It doesn’t matter where you are or what you are doing… as long as you’re aware, laid back, chill, and comfortable in your own skin.

But most of all… you’re just having a good time wherever you are.

(And with my instruction, my student who messed up the interaction has since stopped using those lines by internalizing the correct Magnetic Mindset and has improved immensely. He realized that is not the way.)